So you have all been waiting and get ready because here it is! Here are Chris’s answers to the 5 things needed for a long distance relationship. You can see Part 1 here.
Christopher’s 5 things necessary in a long distance relationship (and little blurbs about them because Alyssa said that that was the prompt and gave me no further directions). So in no particular order, my 5 key things to make a long distance relationship work:
- Make time to talk
This one is huge! Alyssa might be pretty quick to say that I have bad communication…which may or may not be true. But at the same time, we always made time to talk with each other. I always ask how her day was and what she has going on for tomorrow, then I talk about the same things. Alyssa will then get kind of crabby and say something along the lines of “I want to have a deep conversation.” I don’t even know what that means, nor do I think I have the ability to have a ‘deep’ conversation every day. So I try to deflect and have her start that convo. But I suppose that is a different story. Either way, every night we talk for at least a half an hour, no distractions, and I know that that can go far in deepening our relationship. And of course we always end with praying with each other.
2. Go to visit when given the opportunity
This is the fun one! When she was in Phoenix for a year I made it down twice to see her during the school year and it was a blast! When the trip is officially planned then you’ve got something to look forward to (we always had countdowns going on). We were able hit up the Grand Canyon (however, no hiking in the Grand Canyon occurred…) as well as do other random things like Flagstaff Extreme (check it out! http://www.flagstaffextreme.com/) Also, when Alyssa was in Ohio at Franny-ville I made it over there a couple times as well and it was fun to see what her ‘college experience’ was like. Oh man, I love the Frannies.
3. Snail mail is a must
Getting letters in the mail is seriously the absolute best! Oh, now that I think about it, getting packages in the mail is the absolute best (with letters being a close second). Besides, Alyssa loves being all mushy gushy and it is a heck of a lot easier for me to write that kind of stuff than to say it. Plus it totally makes your day when you get something in the mail. It is definitely a lost art form.
4. NETFLIX! (or some other online video streaming)
So people might judge this one. Alyssa and I might have judged a couple who said they did this. But then we tried it, and loved it! There are those days when you talk/skype with each other and then you just want to hang out. And really, when you think about it, on a date you are not constantly talking, you’re doing some kind of activity too. So our activity during our long distance days was watching Netflix together. We would pick a movie or some new series to start (press play at the same time) and half of the computer screen would be her face on skype and the other half would be the video playing. It’s basically watching a movie together minus the cuddling! We have passed many a nights doing this (and we still do it) and I tell you what, I would not judge anyone now if they said they did this.
Warning: make sure you have your talking time in before starting the video…there have been times when someone (whose initials start with a C) fell asleep when watching the movie and the other half got a little crabby because then we didn’t talk for the night.
5. Forgiveness (and perhaps the most important)
All relationships are going to have their fair share of arguments. We can definitely attest to that. But we have also noticed that when you are actually in each other’s company, things get resolved so much easier and WAY more quickly. When fighting over the phone or skype it can be quite tempting to just not say anything or even just shut things off. But when that happens, the argument can certainly drag on for much longer than if you were with each other. Make sure to talks things over (which isn’t always easy for me, I tell you what), and to forgive the other person.
PS. Clearly I like to point out when Alyssa gets crabby (see 1, 4, and sort of 5). But to be fair, I promise she’s not the only one in this relationship to get crabby.
Also, my views have changed, but here is what I originally thought about quinoa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TobvW77tuwQ
Come back soon to see what my answers are (and don’t worry I wrote my answers before reading Chris’s)!